No matter how well things are going, I can’t stop counting down.  I don’t even know how many there are left, but I keep counting them away.  I’m sick of being stuck here, waiting, but I worry what might happen if I gave in and finally stopped waiting.  I mean, I know what would happen. Obviously. But I don’t want to do it when the time’s not right. I don’t want it to be an impulsive move.  Visions fill my head, and I think of how it could be.  Days pass, and I’m still waiting for the last to come.  I wish something could change - either I could stop waiting because I no longer feel the need to, or I could stop waiting and let it happen.  One way or the other, something has to change. Because, ironically, it’s killing me.