I am not lonely.  That is not what this is about, but I am alone.

Every now and then - increasingly so, when I’m up late at night with nothing to do, I lie alone in the darkness, seeing where my thoughts might take me.  I often drift to the fact that I am lying alone in the darkness.  And I think of how useful it would be to have someone lying there with me.  Well, not simply ‘lying there’, if you catch my drift.  I think of how content I could be in that moment - a contentedness I can never find when left in the company of my thoughts.

When I hear the word lonely, I think of it as a certain emotional aspect that could be brought on by being alone.  Not simply being alone and wishing someone were there with you. 

Am I wrong? Am I lonely? I say no.

Still, on nights like these, I wish I weren’t alone.